


I know what it feels like to hate your skin

by Commit_Arson



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Good Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt and Toby Smith | Tubbo are Siblings, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nonbinary Character, Out of Body Experiences, Panic Attacks, Parent Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Platonic Cuddling, Protective Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo's just a kid, Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Smoking, Trans Male Character, big brother jschlatt, they are hybrids, they are orphans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:49:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commit_Arson/pseuds/Commit_Arson
Summary: A late-night often brings questions, some spiral, some just want to smoke a cigaretteakabig brother Schlatt helps ranboo figure gender stuff out
Relationships: Jschlatt & Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 164





	I know what it feels like to hate your skin

He never felt like he fit in, from either being too tall, always towering over everyone, to the fact that he was a half and half hybrid and he didn’t even know what one half of him was.

A heavy sigh left his lips the same time salty tears left his eyes, why didn’t he fit in? why couldn’t he just fit in? and why did ‘he’ feel always so wrong?  
he wanted to scream, why did everything feel so much, why couldn’t he breath

he needed to…

he needed to…

what did he need to do?

Suddenly a hand pulled him back to reality, Who were they? Horns? Who had horns?

“Come on breath with me!” the voice was panicked, were they worried about him? “there you go, Jesus dude, a guy can’t even go out for a cigarette without finding a kid having a panic attack” the voice, faded in and out, but He understood enough to figure out that is was a kind of way to hide the true intentions of the holder.

“I’m” the halfling choaked out “I’m sorry”

The figure was now more clear, The person in front of him was Schlatt, one of the many inhabitants of the shared orphanage, He didn’t know much about him only that he was some years older than him and was one of the more troubled orphans he also had a little brother, he was kind.

“Hey, it’s fine, we can’t always stay strong” Schlatt took a small breath “you wanna talk about it? it always helps me feel better” the last thing was obviously only said as a way of comfort.

Could he tell him? maybe Schlatt would make fun of him…  
what had he to lose? the dignity he didn’t have? the pride that was easily destroyed?

“I don’t fit in anywhere” his voice was small “I’m taller than most children my age, I’m a halfling who doesn’t know what he is, And I don’t feel like a he but at the same time also not a she, so what the hell am I?” he now locked eyes with the older, his face wasn’t what he expected, The face held a gentle smile, something that felt so comforting.

“have you ever thought about going by they and them pronouns?” he could do that? “and also is it alright if I touch you?” The question took him off guard, why would he ask permission? no one ever did, he only nodded slowly

he was suddenly pulled into a Hug, not like one from the many parents that had wanted to adopt him, no This was out of pure comfort, He imminently melted into the hug, he could already feel the tears coming back up so all he did was hide his face in the soft fabric of the others sweater.

“it doesn’t matter whether you fit in or not, you should just be you and if that’s not enough for you then, hey, I mean you sure fit perfectly in my arms” a small laugh escaped the older throat, while a small sob escapes the youngers, why was he so nice? how could someone say something so Kind? to him! he didn’t deserve it…

“Hey, there’s no need to cry, I know how hard it is to not know who you are and feeling like you’re in the wrong body” the gentle words only made the younger sob harder, he was like him? could he help him?

Soft hands scooped his face up, but instead of hurt he was met with gentle strokes which whipped the harsh tears away, he opened his eyes since they instinctively closed, he was met with the kindest eyes he had ever seen.

“if you want to I will help you, with figure everything out I mean, I used to be in your shoes and I know how it feels to be in this situation” the words were so soft, Did he deserve this? what had he done for Schlatt, for him to want to help him? would he want something back?

“Why are you being so kind to me?” the words came out more like a whimper than an actual question.

“because you’re a kid, who doesn’t deserve to go through something so hard all by themself, trust me I speak out of experience” it was the smile the made him cry once more, it was so sincere, so caring, he wanted to help him? no one ever helped him, without wanting something in return, Schlatt was different he was kind, comfortable, warm, willing to help him.

He closed his eyes again and simply shoved his face towards the older’s chest, he let him, the hands didn’t leave his face either.

“thank you” his voice was muffled by the fabric of the other’s shirt. a small kiss was placed on his head right between where his horns were growing, it made every bad thought go away and replace them with kind words, how could someone be this kind? how did he open up to someone so fast?

“hey how about I get you back to your room, you know how strict the adults here are”  
His voice was still soft, he wanted to say no, tell him he didn’t feel like sleeping, but all he could muster was a small shaking of the head.

“oh, come on, Will you go if I stay with you for tonight?” a small nod, a soft sigh was heard over the younger, only then left the hands the youngers face, he winced at the loss of comfort.  
he felt the older slowly start to move, he didn’t want him to but didn’t stop him either.

“come on bud, we’ll have to go back to my room though, my brother is waiting for me” Schlatt held a hand out, that he took with acceptance, he doesn’t really know what’s going on due to his two break downs, he only noticed as Schlatt started speaking again.

“take off your jeans I can lend you some sweatpants” he was surprised that they were already here but still did as he was asked, the sweats were a soft plaid material, he liked it, it felt like Schlatt.

once he realized that he was now in bed, snuggly against Schlatt and his brother, He looked like a tiny Schlatt instead of big horns they were small and delicate but still the same messy brown hair.

“Goodnight, Ran”

̶h̶e̶ they finally felt at peace, maybe ̶h̶e̶ they found ̶h̶i̶s̶ their place, maybe it was right here, in someone’s arms that cared about him, yes, ̶h̶e̶ they belong here.

“Goodnight, Dad”


End file.
